TEXX International Communications

Bloopers

Well, we all run the risk of making the odd little mistake here and there once we start writing in a language that's not our own. This can of course have amusing consequences - but in some cases it could damage your image. This is why you might like to know that TEXX can now offer its services 24 hours a day via the Internet. If we revise or translate your texts, you can be certain that people won't be laughing at your texts the way they did at these ones...
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong Dentist: Teeth extracted by latest Methodists. In a Zürich hotel: Because of the impropriety of the entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?	In a Czech tourist agency: Take one hour horse-driven carriage. We garantee no miscarriages. In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in a bar. On the door of a Moskow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it. Two signs at the entrance of a Majorcan shop: English well speaking. Here speeching American.
In a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.	In the office of an Italian doctor in Rome: Specialist in women and other diseases.
	On the menu of a Polish restaurant: Salad a firm's own make; Limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion. In a Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
Outside a Paris boutique: Dresses for street walking.	From the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150.000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.	In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.	A sign posted somewhere in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that cople of defferent sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for thet purpose.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter lift backwards, bud only when lit up.
In the lobby of a hotel facing a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursdays.	In a Tokyo based hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.